One of the main reasons I have this blog is to encourage other married women through my own walk as a married woman. Justin (my husband) and I are going on two years in May and they have definitely been two of the hardest years of my life. Being married is not easy. I always heard married women say that when I was single and honestly, I thought they were being a bit whiny. But now I finally understand. There are just some things in life you’re not going to get until you are there yourself. Single people can’t understand a married person’s life and troubles. Married people without kids can’t possibly understand what it’s really like to have children – I know Justin and I don’t. I look forward to having kids and I know in my mind that things will change drastically, but I can’t possibly understand how much until we actually have a baby.
But whatever stage you’re in right now, whatever phase God has you and your husband in, don’t give up! I say this because the past six months Justin and I have wanted to give up so many times. We still do, to be honest. But I also know that we are so close to getting our blessing, to having the next step of our dreams open up. If we give up now, we’ll never become who God created us to be. We’ll just settle and try to “be like everyone else” instead of doing what God placed in our hearts. And I don’t want you to settle either. Don’t think that where you are now is where you’re going to stay. Remember that God’s plans are bigger and better than ours. We can’t see it, we don’t know what He’s doing, and sometimes it even seems like He’s not doing anything, but He is always working behind the scenes.
I think the hardest part is knowing what to do while we wait on God. Waiting on God isn’t a passive activity. We have to do something while we’re waiting. Usually, it’s whatever we last heard from God. But then it can be frustrating trying to figure out if you really heard from God or not, especially when nothing is happening. You begin to wonder if you made the wrong choice if maybe He’s not in this after all. And sometimes you did make the wrong choice. But many times God is silent because He wants us to trust Him. I feel like that’s where Justin and I are right now. God is frustratingly silent and I want to do the easy thing and move back home to my parents (with Justin in tow) and get part-time jobs and just focus on paying our bills or saving up for our own home. And that’s not a terrible thing to do, but I know in my heart it isn’t what God wants for us. He moved us out here for a reason, and I think one of them was to get me away from my parents. I relied on my parents to solve my problems my whole life, but now God wants me to rely fully on Him, not them, which is why I know He doesn’t want us to move back home. And maybe you want to go back to what’s familiar because right now what you’re facing is scary. I get that, I really do. But God is not a God who goes back. He is a God who moves forward. And He doesn’t want us to go back either. When He takes us out on the water, as He did with Peter, He wants us to keep our eyes on Him, not on the storms of life around us, or the safety of the boat behind us. Anytime I think of this, I always think of the song by Hillsong United “Oceans (Where Feet May Fail)” so I’m going to end this blog post with that video! Don’t give up!! Never give up!!