I’ve told you guys before how Justin (my husband) and I have been trusting God ever since we moved to TN. We’ve been living by faith and I have constantly sought God’s will and plan for our lives.
Last month I thought the Lord told me something, that a financial miracle was coming by the end of April. And I mean, I heard it multiple times when I was spending my quiet time with Him. When it didn’t come, I thought the Lord told me He was testing my faith and that the miracle would arrive within the week because I passed the test. A week has gone by and it still has not come.
Of course, I’m disappointed. Our finances are in a terrible state right now and honestly, I don’t think getting jobs will help much, though we’re still going to apply because we’re running out of funds. But I truly believe that the only way we’ll get out of this mess we’re in is if God delivers us. And I’m still believing for a financial miracle, but no longer on any timeline because I know it’s in God’s hands.
But even though I was disappointed, I still didn’t let myself get angry, which is a vast improvement on how I would have reacted earlier this year (and did react back in January). This makes me happy because I can finally see some real maturity in me. I know I still have a long way to go, but today I told the Lord that even though our finances are awful, we don’t have jobs though we’ll start looking, and we didn’t receive a financial miracle as we’d hoped (and thought we’d heard from the Lord), I still love Him and I will still trust Him. My love and trust are not based on what He does or doesn’t do – that is conditional. Instead, I choose to love and trust Him no matter what happens because I know that His will, plan, and timing are perfect. We can’t see a way, but God is already making a way. Unlike us, He already knows our future, knows exactly how this will end, and I know it will end well for our good and for His glory.
So, that is my thought for this Saturday: will we trust Him even in our disappointments? Hearing from God isn’t an exact science. I thought I heard from Him, even wrote it down in red in my journals. I could go back and copy and paste everything I thought He said to me right here, right now, but I won’t because it’s personal. Even though I was wrong about the timeline, I am still believing that at least some of what I thought I heard is true. I refuse to believe that I haven’t been hearing from God at all. You see, several times in the past I’ve put timelines on what God has promised me. I remember about a year or two before I met Justin, I could hear God telling me that my future husband was coming soon (I think that’s when He was moving Justin to Charleston honestly, now that I look back at it), but I thought God was saying I would meet him by the end of December, and I didn’t. A year or two later, we did meet. What God said was true, I just put my own timeline on it. And I believe that’s what is happening now. I believe I heard from the Lord because He’s been saying the same thing for almost a year now and because I don’t believe God would let me believe a lie that would lead us into such destruction when He knew I was earnestly seeking Him; I think I just put my own timeline on it, as I’ve done in the past.
What about you? Have you thought you’d heard something from the Lord only to be disappointed? What did you do? Did you keep trusting Him or turn away in anger? I can understand both responses because I’ve now done both. Earlier this year I turned away from God in anger, but of course, I returned to Him because where else can I go?
Or, have there been times you heard from the Lord, thought it was a certain timeline, but when it came to pass you kept trusting God anyway, even through your disappointment – and later on, when you weren’t expecting it, He came through just as He promised?
I would love to hear your stories! Please post in the comments below or send me an email (only I will see it) through my contact form!