Talk About It
Fighting,  Love,  Marriage

Talk About It

Yesterday was not a very good day for Justin or me. I’m not going into a lot of detail, but suffice it to say I’d been angry about something for awhile and kept hoping the feeling would go away. It didn’t. And instead of talking to Justin about it when I was calm and rational, I ended up screaming at him before he went to work because the emotions I’d been bottling up exploded everywhere. It was a bad morning. But we both had time to calm down while he was gone and by the time he came home from work, we were okay again. We talked it out and figured out how to prevent such a situation from happening in the future.

The reason I’m writing this post is that I know this scenario happens in a lot of marriages, especially if one or both of the parties are introverts who don’t like confrontation. It isn’t healthy to bottle things up. That’s not a good way to deal with emotions or situations. I’m learning that the hard way and I hope you will learn from my mistakes and not make them on your own!

When you are angry with your husband, instead of saying, “I’m fine,” and hoping it will go away when he asks you what’s wrong, just tell him! Sit down together, turn off the TV or radio, put down your phones, and have a real heart-to-heart talk. Maybe you’re worried about a situation. Maybe you feel resentful toward him for doing or not doing something. Maybe you just feel overwhelmed and need some help. Whatever the situation, don’t try to handle it on your own.

Of course, I believe we should always go to God first with every problem or situation. If you feel angry toward your husband you should talk to God about it. But, if talking to God doesn’t cause the anger to go away, or you realize it’s a situation that needs action, please just go talk to your husband.

If we say we’re fine when our husbands ask us what’s wrong, we can’t get angry that they don’t know what’s wrong with us. We need to start being honest with our spouse and learn to talk things out before they get worse. Maybe, like me, you just don’t want to hurt their feelings by saying a hard truth. You may be surprised at what they already know. I know my husband is very intuitive and he knows what I’m feeling without me saying a word. Sometimes he even knows what I’m thinking without me speaking it. But whether your husband is like that or not, we need to be open and honest with one another. Bottling up our emotions leads to explosions of anger which can also lead to hurtful words, damaged relationships, even divorce.

So, my advice for you guys this week: talk it out! If something is going on inside you and you can feel that anger building up, talk calmly and rationally to your spouse before you explode. It’ll be a lot easier and less painful to deal with situations in a controlled manner than to wait to deal with it when you can no longer control yourself.

I will be praying for you guys and I would love to hear about your marriages! Let me know situations you’ve gone through with your spouse. I may even ask you to write a guest post if you’re comfortable with that, or I can interview you and you can tell me and my readers all about your marriage experience!

I love you guys! God bless!

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One Comment

  • Karen

    This is such good advise and it is great that you are learning this early in your marriage some people never learn it. I’m not sure why we say “we’re fine” when we are not. I think we (as women) think our spouses are suppose to read our minds. It is so awesome that you and Justin are learning things early in the marriage so your not doing all the “wrong” ways of marriage for a long time. I’m still really praying and asking for the Lord to help me write something but nothing yet. I’ll definitely keep praying about it.

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